"Let me tell you, this hotel in Stockholm — great city, by the way, tremendous city — is fantastic. The food? Incredible. Some of the best food, and I know food, believe me. The bed? Like sleeping on a cloud, a beautiful, beautiful cloud. Best sleep I've had in a long time, and that's saying something.
The staff — unbelievable people. So nice, so professional, they treat you like a king, like a champion. And clean? This place is spotless, immaculate, the cleanest hotel you've ever seen, maybe the cleanest hotel anyone's ever seen. Location is perfect, right where you want to be. And quiet — so peaceful, so calm, total tranquility, nobody bothering you.
But the couch — folks, we have to talk about the couch. Not good. Not good at all. The cushions, they slide right out from under you, total disaster, total instability. You sit down, two minutes later you're readjusting, five minutes later you're readjusting again. Sad! A hotel this incredible, this world-class, and they've got a couch that can't even hold a cushion in place. Believe me, nobody's ever seen a couch like this, and not in a good way.
Other than that — five stars, the best, tremendous stay."